Hope you find it
I have this bad habit. I can't remember when it began. I try to think back to forever and it probably started when I was a teenager. Then it became something I did more and more through high school and college out of what felt like necessity. Once I became a mom of two little people in my late 20's, it strengthened significantly. Then as I became a corporate working robot, I pretty much mastered it. You might have guessed what it is. Multi-tasking. I was pretty proud of my mastery of this powerful skill. I could do anything and everything...all at once. I could talk to someone on a phone call while I scanned emails. I could watch my favorite TV show while I folded laundry. I could clean while I chatted with a friend. Who wouldn't want this power? It's like being at the market and everything is on sale at two for the price of one. In my opinion, I hit the lottery!
Or NOT.
I came downstairs after teaching yoga today. My husband asked me to sit down in the living room chair so I could listen to a song he wanted me to hear. I resisted, thinking I don't have time to just sit there and listen to a song. I was busy doing "important" things in the kitchen. He kept pushing me to stop so I did. I sat in the chair and listened. I literally struggled to just do nothing and listen...since I'm a master multi-tasker. I quickly realized this was a song that I loved, one that I'd been listening to for years, one that made me think of a thousand happy moments. After the song ended, my husband handed me his phone and told me to look at the lyrics.
That's when things slowed wayyyyy down. I read the first few lines and quickly felt pulled to connect more deeply with what I was reading. I really focused. I stopped resisting stillness. I stopped thinking about what I was working on in the kitchen. I stopped scanning the room for things I needed to do. I stopped hearing other people talking. I stopped thinking about time. For that few minutes I realized what I was supposed to experience...the words, the music, the memories, the feelings, the meanings.
I'm embarrassed to say that after hearing this song hundreds and hundreds of times, I never really knew what the lyrics were saying. After reading them a few times, I felt like the words smacked right into me. It took my husband to slow me down so I could sit down and do nothing for 5:48 minutes. It took my husband to get me to stop doing five things at once and fully focus on one thing. It took my husband to slow me down so I could hear this important message.
There was a time when there was nothing at all
Nothing at all, just a distant hum
There was a being and he lived on his own
He had no one to talk to, and nothing to do
He drew up the plans,
learnt to work with his hands
A million years passed by and his work was done
And his words were these...
Hope you find it in everything,
everything that you see
Hope you find it in everything,
everything that you see
Hope you find it, hope you find it
Hope you find me in you
So she had built her elaborate home
With its ups and its downs,
its rains and its sun
She decided that her work was done,
time to have fun
and she found a game to play
Then as part of the game
She completely forgot where she'd hidden herself
And she spent the rest of her time
Trying to find the parts
Hope you find it in everything,
everything that you see
Hope you find it in everything,
everything that you see
Hope you find it, hope you find it
Hope you find me in you
There was a time when there was nothing at all, nothing at all
Just a distant hum
- Howard Jones, Hide and Seek
There are so many important things I learned in this short few minutes of time connecting with this song and its lyrics. I realize it's very possible that you aren't even able to focus on these words I'm writing or any of what I'm sharing. I truly know how difficult it is to slow down and be still.
There will never be enough time to do it all. There is more for us to do in this world than anyone could ever possibly do in multiple lifetimes. We have to CHOOSE what is most important. We have to CHOOSE what makes us feel whole. When you show up in your fullest form, you make the world better. You give others the permission to do the same.
I hope you can slow down. I hope you can find yourself. Don't wait for your work to be done.