Sink into that sweet moment
What the heck does BE PRESENT even mean? Looking back, I can remember this phrase being in my vocabulary for at least the last 15 years. Way back, I bought a necklace from this lovely artist at the farmers market that was made of clay and stamped with the phrase BE HERE NOW. I wore it as if it had magical powers to transform me. Thinking back, it was a great reminder, but my moment-to-moment choices didn’t seem to be phased by the importance of its message.
I’m sad to say that I struggle with this probably more than I would like to admit. My strength of problem solving is also my greatest weakness. As a problem solver, I’m constantly thinking about the past to determine what could have been done differently. I’m thinking even more about the future to figure out what I must be prepared for and what I could do to make things work the way I think they should. I solve virtually every challenge that comes before me but that leaves very little time to just be and enjoy my life.
I’m here to tell you (or remind you) …this is utterly exhausting and quite sad. How can anyone constantly be solving problems or holding back from sinking into a sweet moment? At any given time, we all have several really big things going on. Sometimes they might even require serious focus. Rightly so, your attention and focus are required. However, there is a fine balance.
Recently, my family joined with another family to go camping. Of course, I went into planning mode as I can’t forget a thing, right? The day before we were set to leave, I noticed my relentless problem-solving behavior. I noticed where my thoughts were going, and I surprisingly had this momentary ability to see myself from outside my body. I looked at what I was doing and thought, “how the &#$% are you going to enjoy any moment of your life if you’re always doing this?” Believe it or not, it was the first time I ever questioned this behavior as it was happening.
The conversation continued and we (me, myself and I) agreed that I would have permission to let go for just a few minutes while I was camping. How much could go wrong in just a few minutes? So, I hesitantly agreed to try this new “thing” out. Fast forward to me standing in the forest near our camp site. I was actually very nervous to let go. I could feel my fear rushing to stand right next to me like an army of things that could collapse and destroy my path forward. All these thoughts took place within micro-seconds. Yes, I know how ridiculous this sounds.
I gulped and pushed away the hovering fears. I gave myself a couple of minutes the first time. To my surprise, there were no casualties. Ok, let’s try this again. I let go and took our dog for a walk. I stared at the bark on the towering pine trees and watched the water sparkle on the nearby river. It worked again! No problems were solved during that moment of release. Nothing went wrong either. I was totally ok with this.
It finally hit me. Even though my brain thinks it has control of the wheel, it simply can’t…not all the time. In fact, it is actually quite a powerful gift that I don’t always have control as wonderful things can happen that aren’t even on my radar.
As with any habit or change you want to make, practice brings it to life. Here are a few key takeaways for you to ponder:
Pay attention - Whatever you’re doing, right now, learn to focus completely on doing that one thing. Notice every aspect of what you’re doing, how it feels in your body, the sensations.
Notice the jumping thoughts - It’s ok if your thoughts jump around. Try to avoid forcing your thoughts. If your thoughts stray, just gently bring your focus back to the present task.
Do it again and again - Don’t worry about how many times you must focus on the present. Just do it now. It can become tiring at first, if you’re not used to it. Let yourself rest if you grow tired. It’s not meant to be exhausting — instead you should notice how your worries calm or fade and you enjoy your present task much more. Set a mindfulness reminder if that helps.
Be joyful in whatever you’re doing - Be grateful that get to do each task, and fully appreciate every little movement and tactile sensation of the task. You’ll learn that anything can be an amazing experience.
Let meditation be your secret to success - Meditation is a fantastic way to practice, as it removes much of the complexity of the world and allows you to just learn to be aware of your mind, and to bring yourself back to the present moment. It’s not complicated. Meditation can be done anywhere, anytime. Over time, your brain will start to crave it.
Life is a series of moments and if you miss out on many of them you will be left feeling disconnected and regretful. Take this moment to make the shift to enjoying every single one that comes your way. You will be surprised by how much richer each day feels.